Monday, May 15, 2017

9 Months Divorced

Long time no speak... Forgot about this lovely platform...

There is life after divorce people, I see the light. First let me say it has not all been great, co-parenting with a narcissist is a challenge. When you release people from your life with no malice and you wish them the best, if they did not ask for this release, people can become so resentful. It is almost impossible to co-parent with him. He was never that involved when we were married technically from 2006-2016. He has since pushed the responsibility to his girlfriend. I will save the detail for a later post but lets just say any mutual party that has come in contact with her questions her sanity, as do I. I hoped when this relationship that was formed about April 2015 would have alleviated the feelings he has toward me good or bad so it could be a neutral situation... Welp.

Back to me

I have had one serious boyfriend since the official separation, we took it slow and became official October 2015, I may have been fragile and jumped out there too soon, but I thought I was in LOVE yal. I could see the signs he was not "The One", but I forced it. He was so much fun! Something I hadn't had or felt in a long time. My marriage before the separation had come to the point where it felt like roommates. We didn't have much sex because when he got clean (whole nother story) his hormones were out of wack. His drive was down and he wasn't getting it up. The man went as far as buying supplements, I was so far withdrawn at that point, it was pointless. I originally asked for a separation November 2012 after a failed family trip, I was nervous to step out there on my own but again asked for a separation sometime in 2014 with him finally moving out in August. So when I met this new guy his ED, due to diabetes, wasn't an issue because I was use to ED and he gave me so much more that I could work with that little problem. Well he was a few years older but did not have his shit together. When we got a little more serious he had just got out the hospital because he was not tending to his chronic health issues, he just moved out his moms basement because she was moving due to not being able to handle the mortgage on her own, and he moved in with two roommates. He could do no wrong, I thought it was admirable he was taking classes... I offered to help, he took advantage of not only me and his above average intelligent yet socially awkward roommate that owned the house (who also had a hygiene issue, pyuck), but also of the Internet with buying his homework and quizzes/test. He had no drive yal. Once I helped him find a better job, he got in an accident, to his defense, it was not his fault but the man was more than happy with sitting in the house all day collecting a disability check. Yal I got a problem! Im attracted to these build a boyfriends versus the already assembled ones.

I am now loving the single life more than ever. I have gone on dates but these men and women hold no substance. Its sad, so Im dating myself and my standards are so high, I don't think any man is going to meet them. LOL. No, in all seriousness I look forward to the day I meet my equal and I feel extremely comfortable sharing every aspect of myself.